BIBLES BE TRIPPIN’

We are very eager and excited to proudly introduce our new book: Bibles Be Trippin’. This is a hilarious, satirical retelling of some of the most popular Bible stories. This cleverly amusing take on historical tales is a collection of ten suggested happenings from the Holy Bible including Adam & Eve, Noah’s Ark, David & Goliath and more. This “translation” of stories is a Newer, Interesting Version that is modern, socially relevant and in layman’s terms, which explains the use of profanity.

Or at least it should. In our opinion, words like “hath”, “shall”, “taketh” and “doeth” are dumb. We don’t use those words today and they aren’t necessary or relevant to these stories. Please keep in mind, this is NOT a bible nor to be portrayed as a new translation or whatever.

Bibles Be Trippin’ is an extremely funny book with a present day interpretation of Bible tales retold in a way that we can all actually understand, enjoy and be entertained by. Hope that you love it!

YOU NEED THIS

Stop being cheap and get Bibles Be Trippin’ today!

Not only is it generally entertaining, it’s also this really cool blue that would easily accent any coffee table or office – perfect in work settings.

Great for bathroom sessions and an ideal conversation piece especially when you want to get someone riled up.

Yours in faith,

JI

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My Heavens and Earth.. So far

In the beginning, I did some stuff.

Later, I did other stuff…

On the Xth day, I co-wrote Bibles Be Trippin’ & I’m pretty sure God saw that it was good.

JI

Woke Up This Morning FURIOUS with Eve!

I’m about to take a risk.  That risk is over-sharing but I’m sorry, when something hits me, I need to get it out there.image_sci_body033

It’s been a rough morning for me.  My puppy woke me up at 6:15am which is not a good look for a person who may have had a few drinks the night before and played video games into the wee hours of the morning.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand.  I’ve known it was coming; I’ve been having some cramps, irritability and honestly, I’ve been trying to “wish” it away.  That doesn’t work.  Of course I thought of our book and the first chapter is a retelling of Adam and Eve.

Not saying I believe that any of this happened because it truly is absurd but when things go wrong, we need someone to blame and I blame Eve.  Actually, come to think of it, I’m trying to understand how when God “created” Eve, he thought oh, let me give her a “uterus, ovaries and a uterin wall.”  That right there is a fiasco.  Wouldn’t it have been easier for him to have devised a different way for people to get pregnant and deliver babies?  but no, we have lady parts and they bleed.

Eve is a jerk because she is supposedly the first woman ever created.  Her periods probably weren’t even that bad until the whole serpent, forbidden fruit nightmare.  I hate her and I hate my life for the next five days.

One time when I was younger I said to my mom, “Geez, my cramps hurt so bad.”  Her response, “GO GET YOU SOME PAMPRIN AND HAVE A NORMAL DAY.”  I could have slapped her.

Anyway, in our book, in chapter 2, Eve talks a bit about what it was like being on her period back then.  Gathering leaves for pads and all.  #GROSS – I guess there is a bright side – we have Always overnight with wings and Kotex tamps.

Serves her right.  Also, good morning and have a lovely day!

-AI